What do you do when you're frustrated with someone and can't change your heart, can't forgive, or can't accept their opinion? The Bible says that only God can change our hearts: “I will give them an undivided heart and put a new spirit in them; I will remove from them their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh” Ezekiel 11:19. But how does this work in practice?

Some years ago, God started using a system with me that I call “Drawer Therapy.” The first time went something like this…

One day I was trying to sort something out with my husband, but I had one opinion and he had another, contrary to mine. We couldn't reach an agreement, and I walked away from him very frustrated. I went to the bedroom, sat on the bed, and kept dwelling on those discontented thoughts. I started grumbling to God, hoping He would “take my side,” and He simply impressed upon my heart the following thought: “Organize his drawers.”

“What?” I thought, “Right now I’m so frustrated that I don’t feel like doing anything for him, much less organizing his drawers.” But again, the same impression came to my mind: “Organize his drawers.”

I got up very reluctantly, but decided to organize the drawers. At first, I was still dwelling on my frustrations and started doing it half-heartedly, doing the bare minimum, but God touched my heart again to do my best. Then the thought occurred to me that perhaps by doing a “good deed” for him, he would change his mind. Over time, however, I realized it was my heart that needed changing, and it was on my heart that God was working, not my husband’s.

During that process, as I folded the clothes, something surprising began to happen. I started having “good” thoughts about my husband. I began to think about the good things he does for me, how much he cares for me, the good qualities he possesses… and all that frustration gradually faded away. I finished organizing the drawers and decided to look at his closet too. By this point, my heart was so full of love for him that I did my best, tidied his shoes, and even organized his shirts by color.

Afterward, I kept thinking, “Where did this love, these good thoughts, come from?” I could never have manufactured them by my own will; it was God who placed them in my heart. “For it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose” Phil. 2:13. My part was to submit to His will, that is, to listen to His impressions and choose to obey.

I understood that it was the enemy who wanted to destroy my relationship with my husband, and that’s why he was putting those negative thoughts in my heart. Even after I had organized everything, he still tempted me with the desire for my husband to come and thank me for what I had done, but God immediately impressed upon my heart that this was not the reason I had organized them.

It’s been about five years since I first went through drawer therapy. Since then, I’ve noticed that God has used the same “treatment” with me other times when I needed a change of heart regarding my husband and even my daughters. And you know what, it always works!

I don’t know what kind of therapy God has used with you. When you’re very frustrated, talk to Him, and He will show you the best thing to do. Remember that on our own, we are not capable of changing our hearts. We are not even capable of having the willingness to change. But we can ask God to give us the willingness, to give us the desire, and He will work a miracle in us if we allow Him to.

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