“With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God.” Mark 10:2

I was completely frustrated with myself. I had failed again! This time it was overeating between meals when I wasn't even hungry! My failure came on the heels of many significant victories in the area of appetite.

With God's personal help, I had confronted my chocolate addiction, put my sweet tooth in its proper place, corrected my perverted tastes, and dealt with several other dietary imbalances. I was enjoying the freedom resulting from self-control in God and the improved health that accompanies that freedom. And now this! “Why, oh why, had I failed in this area again?” I cried out to God.

Lovingly, He directed my reasoning in this way: “Analyze why you succeeded in those other areas and look for the common denominator. Compare that with your current failure. Do not be afraid, for I am with you.”

Soon I found a quiet moment to reflect with God without interruption and discovered something. Each of my victories had been preceded by a decisive choice to do God's will instead of my own.

This choice was more than just desiring the benefit God offered. It went beyond agreeing that His way is the best. It led me to the point of cooperating in my actions to do His will, trusting in His enabling power to change my perverted desires, habitual concepts, emotions, and inclinations that cried out within me.

Was it a battle to fight against the carnal nature? Oh, yes, it was! I believe it is the greatest battle ever fought. But in each of those victorious situations, I chose to let God be the Lord of my table, my tastes, and my mouth. Nothing would pass my lips without God's approval!

Every moment of temptation during the day was an opportunity to reaffirm my morning commitment to God to be His daughter. I filtered every desire through God, both during and between meals.

He helped me understand exactly what, how much, and when I needed to eat. I placed my decision and action on God's side in this matter and resisted the inclination of the carnal nature for its short duration, while God cleansed the evil thoughts, desires, tastes, and everything else. By God's grace effectively working in my mind and heart, I would do His will, not my own.  

Victory was constant when I was determined, resolute, and cooperated externally with God, trusting in His power to work internally with my wrong thoughts, feelings, etc., bringing them into obedience with my consent.

The battle was real in the interval between my choice to follow God and the victory. But as long as my actions cooperated with my choice, in due time – usually fifteen minutes or a little longer – victory would come.  

Self-control and peace reigned. My desires, my thoughts, my emotions were all subdued by Christ who dwelt in me. (Read Hebrews 2:8.) The temptation was gone! There was no longer an oppressive, compelling tendency to act contrary to God's will, nor to follow old habits.

I was free to follow Christ – the power was with me! The victory was pleasant, delightful. Joy superabounded from having achieved self-control in Jesus. Being satisfied with a salad, saying “no” to dessert at that meal, being content with a smaller meal than I wanted, or being willing to simply have a fruit meal in the morning, was a satisfaction that produced joy and gratitude to God. As a result, I drew closer to God, trusting Him more.

In contrast, my failures happened in the following way. We had enjoyed a delicious breakfast, which was appealing and sufficient. I went to my desk to work. About thirty minutes later, Satan placed a tempting suggestion in my mind. “You forgot to eat the homemade cookies for dessert. They must be delicious!”

Without consulting God, I thought: “Well, I really did forget. But I ate sweet bread with fresh strawberries and homemade cream – that's like a dessert. I don't need cookies. Besides, we're between meals now, and I've been trying not to eat between meals.” And I went back to immersing myself in my work to distract my mind from food. “Yes, but just one wouldn't hurt you. It must be so delicious!” He spoke to my weakness, to my perverted habit that still reacted to that kind of stimulus!

“Well, it really must be delicious.” I began to cooperate in my thoughts with that suggestion. “But I promised God this morning that I would fight against this bad habit. I'm not even hungry. I had a satisfying breakfast.” But I was still inclined. My past, my old habits were still leading me to it!

“Jim is outside and won't see you getting cookies. It's okay. It's so delicious. Now's your chance, later it won't work out, so you'd better act fast and do it now,” he pressured me.

“Sally, don't go there. This is Satan's enchanted ground. Reach out your hand and take My hand, My power is sufficient for you.” God was offering me a way of escape from sin and its temptations.  

I struggled, pondered, and considered whether I would eat that cookie or not. In my mind there was conflict and confusion with indecision. I clearly understood God's will for me. But my past, my habits, and my natural tastes were crying out for that cookie! God gave me time to make a decision with “free will” to follow Him or not. But my thoughts, my carnal nature, and Satan forced me to do what I had done before, and I cooperated with the enemy.

Strangely, impulsively, and embarrassingly, I got up and went to the pantry to get just one cookie. After all, I thought: “It's a healthy cookie. Only 30 minutes have passed since breakfast. I'll just take one.” I promised myself.

I didn't decide to trust God or follow Him, did I? Instead, I obeyed the voice of my carnal nature, my bad habit, my old way of loving myself in that manner. And I didn't just eat one! I ate three cookies until Satan began to crush me with guilt.

“There you go again.” He taunted me. “You have no self-control. God isn’t here to help you as He promised!” Satan planted doubts about God in my mind. “God might be able to change others, but not you. You’re a lost cause! No one can love you that way. Now you might as well eat more to ease your sorrow. Your promises are ropes of sand. God can’t love you – you can’t keep any promise!”

Guilt, remorse, and anguish seized me and consumed my being – my mind and my heart. My work at the desk was tainted, and suddenly I didn’t feel God could use me to counsel others!

I was inclined to accept all these thoughts, reasonings, and concepts as truth and distance myself even further from God. This was an old path – easy to follow.

So what made the difference between success and failure?  

I had not decisively aligned my will with God's and determined to follow Him regardless of the cost. Not deciding is deciding. I didn't choose what was right, nor did I rely on Christ's power to work in me both to will and to act according to His good purpose.

Our humanity, apart from God, is inclined to serve sin and the “self.” When I don't align myself with God to fight against error – sin – I don't have enough power to combat or suppress the “self.” Thus, the “self” dominates me, and I remain a subject of Satan!

My carnal nature, my old habits, my past compel me to obey them even when they are wrong. First I cooperated with these thoughts, then with the corresponding actions. When I follow my own “self,” yielding my will to do so, I am not free, but in bondage, a forced slavery. In contrast, when I am in Christ, I am free to serve Him correctly, and at the same time, I lack no power.

Why do I follow my carnal nature when I have already experienced both sides? Isn't it madness to let my carnal nature dominate me in this way? It's torture, remorse, and guilt – why do I react this way?

Simply because I am familiar with it – it is strangely inviting. The comfort of an old friend accompanies our inclination towards perverse paths. Although we don't desire the bondage of old habits, we are strangely drawn to them and feel comfortable in them. These old giants in our character reside there until we enlist under Christ as our General to guide us in battle and show us how to wield the sword of the Spirit to exterminate them. Then, and only then, can Christ reign and satisfy us with all His goodness.

Perhaps appetite isn't your cherished little sin. Whatever your weakness, to overcome it, you will face the same situation. We must follow Christ's example and learn that the extermination of our giants begins when we say: “Not my will, but Yours be done.” Luke 22:42.  

Identify the giant in your experience. Is it despair, insecurity, unworthiness, or guilt? Is it pride, envy, jealousy, or covetousness? Is it bad temper, criticism, or a domineering attitude? Is it immorality, or simply perversion? Is it the fear of rejection? Is it the fear of something else? Is it controlling others to feel in control?

We fail, friend, always and every time we don't let Jesus dominate us! When we fear facing our giant, when we hesitate to decide – then we are deciding against Christ. If we don't decide to follow Him – we can identify our “true decision” through our actions. The Bible says: “Even a child is known by his actions, by whether his conduct is pure and right.” Proverbs 20:11.  

Are we following Christ or other gods, such as the “self,” Satan, or perverse habits? It is our actions that show which god governs us. There is no middle ground. That is why Satan leads us to indecision, indifference, confusion, fear, because we hesitate to decide – and not deciding is deciding. If we don't choose God with conviction, Satan retains that position of dominion over us – we are implicitly his subjects.

We fail when God is not the One in command of what we think, feel, say, or do. We are the pilots and expect Him to be our co-pilot – but that doesn't work! We're not giving everything to God, are we? We are in command! The entire Bible is about who is in command of our lives. If we are in command, problems are lurking. If God is in control, success, self-control through Him, and joy are waiting for us. What is your choice?

I saw a dear friend struggling in his marriage to simply love his wife as God desires. God was clearly asking him to love his wife without any self-interest.

It was painful and regrettable to watch Satan taunt this man with false thoughts, concepts, emotions, and bad habits. Satan argued with him, confusing the real issue, disturbing his feelings about “needs” that “were not being met,” and cultivating thoughts about how unaffectionate his wife was – even if it wasn't true. “If only she would do this…” he lamented.  

His needs were rooted in selfishness – which he sometimes admitted, but he forgot the need to treat her kindly in that moment – his old way was comfortable for him. He feared, hesitated, and failed to decide to let God dominate him, neglecting to filter every thought, word, and action through God. Without God at the helm, he could only treat his wife as before – often with coldness, indifference, and a degrading spirit.

His wife's reaction was withdrawal – shyness in intimate moments – which only worsened his mental state. Feeling manipulated by her, he reacted by censuring her, telling her about the need to change, maintaining silence, pushing her aside, neglecting his part all the time. The truth is, he was trying to manipulate her with his cold responses – being guided by Satan, by his past, and by old ways of acting – wanting to make her revert to her old problematic style.

His need for change seemed uncomfortable, and he hesitated to trust God. He clung to the comfort of his cherished little sin. His lack of decision to follow Jesus completely, and his failure to look to Christ's power to make him like Him and love his wife, were causing him to miserably lose what he most desired.

Satan wants to keep many husbands or wives in this position of indecision and hesitation about following God wholeheartedly. Focusing on allowing God to transform the "self" is the true solution. But Satan likes to keep this truth hidden. He likes to push the emotional button called "blame the spouse," because this prevents me from seeing what needs to be changed in myself. This is as natural for our carnal nature as it was for Adam and Eve.

Satan insinuates in our thoughts that we won't like this new path. It's uncomfortable! It's so difficult! And by agreeing with him, he keeps us under his control – obeying the dictates of his character, obeying his negative feelings – and thus we fail.  

Satan is a liar and the father of all lies. We cannot believe him, nor the thoughts he brings to our minds, which are against the Word, the character, the life, and the Spirit of God. What foolishness, to follow him so easily; but how often do we do exactly that! We don't let Jesus govern us. On the contrary, we let Satan govern! We tell Jesus we are afraid of Him! Imagine a child who doesn't trust their mother! That's what I did when I chose to overeat. I obeyed Satan, my past, and my old habits that inevitably led me to misery, failure, and not to joy as Satan suggests disobedience offers.

My friend did the same in his marriage. Isn't it more difficult to remain in our old ways than it is to face the "new ways" under Christ's leadership? I think so. Your marriage can be a loving, secure, affectionate, and satisfying relationship if you let Jesus guide each of your thoughts, feelings, emotions, concepts, and reactions. Let God define for you what true love is. Cling to God's thoughts and incorporate them into your reactions. Jesus is a God great enough to implant righteousness in you. He awaits your cooperation! He is the Creator.

He is able and willing to cast out from you selfishness and the wrong concepts to which you cling, as well as all the old habits that dominate you, provided you allow Him to fully possess your heart. He desires to cleanse your heart, your mind, your soul, your marriage, and the unity of your family so that all may be Christ-like in thought, word, and deed. Don't you boldly desire to change masters, doubting Satan and trusting God?

The kingdom of Heaven is ours when we widely open the door of our heart and follow Christ as our Lord and Savior. Then He transforms our failures into victories.  

Empowered Life.

Sally Hohnberger, translated by Vera Michel de Matos. Used with permission from Empowered Living Ministries (www.empoweredlivingministries.org)

‍