I don't know if you're like me, but I've had some difficulty practicing James 1:19, “Let every woman be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger” (my paraphrase).

Sometimes I completely reverse this advice. First I get angry, then I speak (angrily), and then I stop to listen. Logically, the consequences of this reversal are always disastrous.

God has placed on my heart the need for a change in this area. I've been praying about it, and the description of the virtuous woman: “She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue” (Prov. 31:26) has been constantly brought to my mind. When I cling to these words and remember that it's God's Spirit reminding me, they help me greatly, but when I forget for a moment, I end up going back to “getting angry, speaking, and listening.” Some time ago, I learned a lot about forgiveness during an incident with my daughter.

It had been a very tiring day; we were already getting ready for our devotion and to put the girls to bed. I hadn't taken my shower yet and was starting to get annoyed with the situation. Right at that moment, my daughter chose to tell me she had used my Personal Devotion notebook to copy a recipe.

At that moment, I gently heard the reminder to “speak with wisdom and kindness,” but my tiredness led me to get a bit upset. I didn't get completely angry, but I interrupted her and told her in a dry tone that she shouldn't have done that.

Her little eyes filled with tears, and she couldn't say anything else. My heart immediately sank, and I realized I was wrong, but in my pride, I kept talking. I asked her if I had ever, by any chance, written something of mine in her notebooks. And to my surprise, she not only said yes but showed me a notebook where I had recently jotted down someone's email, for lack of other paper.

All this time, I felt God prompting my heart to ask her for forgiveness. Finally, I gave in, and sad and ashamed, I asked for forgiveness for speaking that way and for writing in her notebook without asking permission. She ran and hugged me and also asked for forgiveness for writing in my notebook without asking permission, and we both felt relieved and happy.

Afterward, we sat on the couch for our devotion, and normally she sits next to her dad, for whom she has a true affection, but to my surprise, she told her sister that she could sit next to Dad if she wanted, because that day she wanted to sit next to me.

I started thinking... how things work... She had every right in the world to be hurt by me, because of my lack of consideration, but because I had asked her for forgiveness, she was immediately drawn to me, because “forgiveness generates love.”

Often, as parents, we find it difficult to ask our children for forgiveness. We grew up with the idea that to maintain their “respect,” we need to stay in the position of always being right. When in reality, if we humbled ourselves when we made mistakes, they would benefit even more and learn to forgive, respect, and love us.

May God help us always be ready to acknowledge our mistakes and ask for forgiveness from our children, our spouse, or anyone else.

Remember what Jesus said (about Mary Magdalene): “Her many sins have been forgiven, for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little.” Luke 7:47.

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