Have you ever wondered why God chose Mary to be Jesus' mother? One day, this question came to mind, and after a quick analysis of the biblical account of Joseph and Mary, I noticed some special things. Both feared God, and therefore were obedient. Consider the following passages: “When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife.” Matt. 1:24. ““I am the Lord’s servant,” Mary answered. “May your word to me be fulfilled.”” Luke 1:38 .

But there was something very special about Mary that caught my attention, which I understood to be the secret reason she was chosen to be Jesus' mother. Consider the following passages: “But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.” Luke 2:19. “Then he went down to Nazareth with them and was obedient to them. But his mother treasured all these things in her heart.” Luke 2:51. Did you notice her secret? Mary kept everything in her heart; she was extremely discreet.

Many incredible things happened to that humble couple from Nazareth, but instead of spreading the news far and wide, they remained quiet and kept everything in their hearts. When he realized Mary was pregnant, the Bible says Joseph decided to divorce her secretly. Even though he was upset and confused, Joseph remained quiet; he didn't go around spreading the news. Mary, on the other hand, being still a teenager, could have boasted to others about being chosen as the Savior's mother and having the privilege of speaking with an angel, but no, she chose to remain quiet. After Jesus' birth, when the wise men appeared and gave them gifts, she could also have felt very special to God and gone around showing off her valuable presents to friends and neighbors. But no, she chose to keep everything in her heart.

Discretion is a quality that God highly values and desires for all of us to develop. Unfortunately, we live in a society where discretion is not always appreciated. Nowadays, people feel such a need to display their qualities and knowledge that often, especially us women, we end up talking too much and, as the saying goes, "putting our foot in our mouth." Proverbs 18:21 says that “the tongue has the power of life and death…” This doesn't just refer to speaking ill of others, but also to talking excessively and speaking without thinking.

One reason why we women are often not discreet is that we consider ourselves superior to our husbands. Women usually seem more decisive than men, but this isn't always an advantage. A man might appear hesitant in making decisions, but what seems like indecision could actually be prudence on his part. And what seems like determination on a woman's part is often haste and imprudence.

Psychology suggests that differences in sex and brain functions indicate that women are quicker to activate certain parts of the mind, making them more sensitive to stress. Men, on the other hand, are less sensitive to stress and therefore handle it better. This might explain why we women often act so impulsively while our husbands remain calm even in the midst of a crisis. Unfortunately, in my life, I've been through many unpleasant situations because I was impulsive and not discreet. I'm sharing one of them, not because I'm proud of it—quite the opposite, I'm ashamed of what I did—but just as I learned a great lesson, perhaps this story can help someone avoid unpleasant situations in the future.

Several years ago, my family and I were arriving at a location.

My husband had gone ahead while I was finishing getting the girls settled in the car. As I approached him, I saw he was talking to a boy who was crying desperately. The 7-year-old boy said that everyone in the house had left and he was all alone. (In the US, leaving a child home alone is a very serious crime).

My husband was trying to resolve the situation peacefully, calling a family member to pick him up, but when I arrived and heard the story, I was so indignant about the situation that I simply suggested we call the police. Dawerne said no, that we needed to wait, but I just wanted justice to be served immediately, so I took the phone from his hand and called the police.

Five minutes later, the police arrived, and right behind them, one of the boy's brothers. I immediately started to feel embarrassed and realized the mistake I had made. But when the police got close, I quickly explained what had happened. The officer looked at me and asked, “Who found the boy?” I said, “My husband.” And he replied, “Then, he’s the one I’ll talk to.” Now I was certain I had made a huge mistake…

In short… My husband was summoned to testify against the family for child neglect, and I, who had nothing to do with the story, was to blame for everything. To make matters worse, I found out that the boy's mother had abandoned the family, and his father and older brothers were taking care of him alone.

About two months passed between this incident and the court date, and I don't even need to say that they were the worst two months of our lives. Certainly, the only thing that kept us together was the love and forgiveness that God placed in Dawerne's heart so that he would forgive me.

I humbled myself before God and prayed intensely during that period, and God was very gracious to all of us. My husband went to court but didn't have to testify. The lawyers reached an agreement with the boy's father, and the situation was resolved without many problems.

Certainly, these few words don't describe the agony, shame, and anguish that everyone involved felt, but above all, it served as a great lesson for me. I needed to learn to be discreet, to value my husband's wisdom and prudence.

I believe God allowed me to go through this so I would learn Mary's lesson – to be discreet. I don't think I could have been chosen to be a "Mary," but I'm sure that now God can transform my heart, and that in His hands, I can be a blessing and not a curse to others.

One of my favorite verses today is: “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” James 1:19. May God help us to be discreet in our speech and actions.

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