What is your relationship with your children like? Do they enjoy being with you and talking to you, or do they prefer to be with their friends? And how do you feel when you're with them? Do you enjoy their company and doing activities with them, or do you prefer to be online or go to the mall alone? One verse that has always intrigued me in the Bible is Luke 1:17: “He will go before the Lord in the spirit and power of Elijah, to turn the hearts of the fathers to their children.” This verse speaks about the ministry of John the Baptist, and upon consulting a Bible Commentary, I discovered that the word “fathers” refers to the prophets, and “children” refers to the children of Israel who had abandoned the path of the God-fearing prophets. However, the commentary also states that it applies literally to families, to the relationship between parents and children. Just like the people of Israel in the past, it is very common today to see children drifting away from their parents as they grow up, reaching a point in adolescence and youth where they can't even maintain a pleasant dialogue with their parents, as their interests are completely different. Some believe this is normal, that it's just part of life. But there's a great danger in becoming complacent with this idea, because often the influence of others also leads them further away from God. So how can we prevent this from happening?

As parents, we need to be the greatest influence in our children's lives from a young age. This influence, however, isn't something we achieve by forcing them to stay by our side; it's something we need to earn.  Look at this interesting advice: “Let parents devote the first hours of the evening to their family. Let them leave behind the cares and perplexities of the day’s labors. […] Let the evenings be spent in the greatest possible happiness. Let the home be a place where joy, courtesy, and love exist. This will make it attractive to children.” (Counsels on Health, p. 100).

This advice, in fact, is a principle for winning our children's hearts. When we give them attention, when we show interest in the things they like, they will naturally become interested in the things we like, and our influence over them will be very significant, especially in spiritual matters.

A few years ago, we realized that families who dedicate the first hours of the evening to their children have a special relationship with them, so we decided to put this principle into practice in our home as well, in the following way. Every day, after our late afternoon snack, we have our family time (or 'family time' as we affectionately call it). All of us – Dad, Mom, and the girls – go to the living room (or the backyard) and dedicate 30 minutes to a fun activity. Sometimes we get carried away and stay longer than 30 minutes.

The secret is to completely disconnect from our worries and play with them, give them genuine attention, and show interest in the things they care about. And the result? For us parents, besides being a very relaxed moment when we forget the day's worries, it's when we feel we are winning over our girls. They feel that we are not just their parents, but their friends too. Besides uniting our family, these playtimes give us the opportunity to discover and correct some undesirable character traits such as shyness, dishonesty, competitive spirit, etc.

Sometimes we use family time to discuss an important topic, so family time becomes a "family council." We talk about a situation or behavior that needs to be changed, or about plans we are making. Even though it's not a fun activity, we notice that they still value it because it's time we dedicated exclusively to them.

If you have children still living at home, I'd like to invite you to try family time too. If you can't do it every day, start one day a week, or every other day. This activity is also not limited to a specific age. If your children are little, play with them, roll on the floor, tell stories, or do anything else that shows your love. If they are already teenagers and a bit distant from you, start gradually. Start by sitting with them in the living room (with the TV off) and talking about their day. Another day, invite them to go to a special place as a family. Ask them what they would like to do. Start opening up to them, sharing things from your own adolescence, and little by little you'll notice that you're gaining their trust as well.

What to do during family time? Activities will naturally vary with the children's age and interests, and over time, they will suggest games they enjoy. Below, we've included a list of some activities we've done and still do with our 5 and 8-year-old daughters. Here at home, we usually have one person choose the activity each day, which ensures a huge variety.

Various small games (always avoiding competition and encouraging cooperation)

Games:

Name that tune? (play or sing a few notes of a hymn for others to guess)Riddles?Drawing in the air (for others to guess)I'm thinking of a biblical character whose name starts with the letter…Animal charades (for others to guess)In heaven I will have… (describe an animal for others to guess)Bible gamesAnimal alphabet – say names of animals (fruits or other things) for each letter of the alphabet

Others:

TalkGo for a walkWatch an uplifting movieTell funny childhood stories (they love this)Look at photosPlay salon (doing Mom and Dad's hair/makeup)Read storiesPlay with dollsPlay with paper dollsPlay ballVisit a neighbor/friend

Did you notice the variety of activities? Even if you're away from home, traveling, it's still possible to have family time. Be creative, and take advantage of this precious time to win your children's hearts. And do you know what we do right after our Family Time? Family worship. Now that we've given our time to our daughters, their hearts are open to listen to us and to hear God's voice, too. Try it. It's worth the effort!

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