I remember the day when, before God, our families, and friends, I solemnly promised to love, honor, and cherish my husband until death. Honor? How was I to fulfill this vow?

During a pre-marital counseling session, our pastor advised me not to get ahead of my husband. I tend to think quickly, but that doesn't mean my decisions are always better. In fact, my husband's thoughtful consideration often enables him to make better decisions. When someone asks a question, I'm tempted to answer first; but the Holy Spirit is reminding me to give my husband time to respond.

Romans 12:10 states, “outdo one another in showing honor,” but how can I practically apply this principle in my life? Planning ahead and seeking opportunities to honor the one I love has been very positive for our marriage. I believe it's important for my husband's self-respect to encourage him by being quiet and attentive as he expresses his thoughts. This shows him that I think he is intelligent and that I value what he says. I want our children to see my husband as the leader in our home, and I can either build up or tear down this position by how I choose to honor him.

Recently, we were looking forward to a pleasant evening with friends to celebrate our son's 9th birthday. I had baked a cake and was eagerly waiting to decorate it when my husband asked if he could do it. I felt that as a professional decorator, I could not only decorate it faster but also make it look nicer. But would that honor my husband? I chose to let him decorate our son's cake. His style was basic, but also unique, with well-chosen colors. Our friends were surprised by his creation, and our son was so proud of the cake that “Daddy made.” I was also happy with the choice I made to honor him.

Wives, this is a difficult lesson to learn and often needs to be repeated. Daily, in both small and large decisions, we are choosing to hurt or honor our husband. May we heed our Heavenly Father's invitation as we understand that honoring our husband is always the best choice.

Delores Mishleau

Translated and used with permission from the project Forever a Family (www.foreverafamily.org).

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